Sunday, December 11, 2011

Day Ten : Check-in

Ten days in, and it's time for a check-in.  If you'd ever had to go to groupt therapy, here's how it goes : a lot of people talk about themselves for way too long.  You are silent.  The leader turns to you and says "why don't you check in?".

It's a nice general phrase, meaning you can talk about anything from current life events, your diet, your drug habits or your emotions.  This time I choose to check in with my distractions, because this morning my celibate self woke up wrapped around a few pillows that had arranged themselves into a manshape thinking of responding to last cat-mouse game rat for a cuddling session which, even if it had ended well, would not have ended well.  That makes sense right now, I swear.

So, distractions, i.e., what I talk about when I don't talk about love.  (Sorry, Raymond.)

Reading : Er, pretty much an orgy.  When I'm not reading or otherwise distracting myself, I'm thinking about reading.  Perhaps to the point of overkill.  Did I need to add 200 more "to-read" books to my list on  Maybe not, but at this point it is likely, given the effectiveness of this distraction - partcularly at bedtime, which is always the hardest - I might just get through that list.

Running : Check, no seriously check.  Haven't missed a running day.  Missed a few PureBarre days, but I can spare 'em.  Classes are expensive and my knees needed to be spared after yesterday's long run.  I love how running makes me feel, and how it makes my body look and I love it enough to keep doing it regardless of the weather.  My cheap streak right now won't let me go too nuts on winter gear, but thankfully I am good at improvising and layering.  Also, have I mentioned before that celibacy makes you fast?

Russian : Kaput.  No, seriously, I've really done no Russian, and that's been okay because the first two distractions are fine.  Russian to me needs to be more goal-oriented, like traveling there.  The earliest time will not be for awhile.  Still, need to keep it in mind on those days that nothing else is doing it.

Writing : Well, here it is bitches.  Granted, trying to get three entries together in a day is a little daunting, but as long as they're done, they're done.

Friendtime : Again, check.  I've needed a quiet weekend, partly to take care of some things at home, partly because I am saving money right now.  But I've seen some friends, had some very good talks and drank just enough coffee and booze to balance each other out.

Rethinking : I am still unhappy at my job, but I need it and need to make the best of it.  A friend of mine from college who entered the corporate law world far ahead of me (and has now left to start her first semester in archeology this winter) had an excellent response to an email I sent her when I was burnt out.  I told her all the smartass answers that went through my head on a daily basis and asked her if it was normal.  "Complete, I used to do the same thing," she said.  "But then I realized if I was really that unhappy there, maybe I should do something else."

My friend paid her dues through a mountain of loans, and now I am paying mine - and need to make the best of what I have.  I got called out by a boss for dropping the ball on something, but I know it wasn't undeserved and am almost relieved it happened.  I've had a hard time with my job lately, but I need to believe I am still capable of doing it until a better option comes in view.

Streamlining : Still packing more boxes to go.  Tax deductions ending December 31st will be a good incentive.  Considering I can still find things relatively quickly, I feel like I'm in good shape - not the best, but good.  I've also made a point to make a big meal I can freeze and partway cut down on frozen meal and restaurant costs for the week.  Currently have some vegetarian chili in the slow cooker and muffins.  Sadly, it had been so long since I have done this that I forgot some ingredients when I went shopping (even though they were on the list, argh!), so we'll see.  Good thing I'm not a picky eater.  At the worst this will be like last week's blueberry muffin debacle where I used a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon.  A victory for my dog, who has been getting new treats this week.

Thinking of others : I called my mom today, I communicate with other people - even reached out to some others.  Check.

Keep house : Laundry going, dishwater loaded, things picked away and other clutters secreted away for now.  It'll do.

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